Why Am I Still Here?

It has not been easy to shake off being Anglican. I’ve tried to move into other groups, but with no success. Either I backed out quickly or it was obvious said Christian group really did not want the likes of me. (And I’m still not so sureĀ if the Anglicans want me.)

Frustrated, I offered the problem back to the Lord. Why am I still here? And the Lord did give an answer, quite clearly: This is where you are called. Your ordination means something.

Problematic as my relationship is with the Anglican church and Anglican tradition, God has dropped me into it and I am to wait, more or less patiently (and that depends on me, doesn’t it) until something happens, or until God and I can make it happen.

I am, according to those who have experienced my ministry, a good priest. I am conscientious, orthodox, and thoughtful. I work hard, I give more than expected. I am a good preacher, a good teacher, and a Book of Common Prayer traditionalist. I live a quiet life these days. I am dedicated to my husband. My idea of a fun evening is a little Charles Dickens in front of the fire with a tiny glass of brandy. I can cook, sew, garden, and shear a sheep. I’m healthy and physically strong. I like staying home and don’t want to go to conferences and workshops and committee meetings. (OOPS! That is not a plus in the Anglican church!)

I can live on very little money, I am a good housekeeper, can cope with old buildings and can mend paraments and vestments. I can sing and chant.

So why don’t I have a church?

Hello? Anglican Church? This is me…still here.