This is what I need to discern: I want to go back into formal ministry, but I am reluctant to go back to traditional parish ministry. I am a very different kind of Christian now than I was five years ago. But I have a gift for preaching, liturgy and spiritual counseling. I want to do these things, but I am almost convicted that I don’t want to do it for money.
I need the money. I need an income – Nicholas’s pension will only stretch so far. We need more money to save for our own place, to have a bit of a cushion in case of disaster. We can make it on the pension, with careful management. But –
New glasses. Medical care for me. My obsession – a woodburning heating and cookstove.
And the infrastructure of my church is geared to the paid ministry, even though that isn’t working well. Parishes can’t afford their priests. It makes us into a commodity, even into hypocrites. If we speak against the establishment when the established church is wrong, we risk losing our jobs. If we follow our hearts and the church objects, we lose. How many priests and ministers are compromising well past the gospel? We are called to lead the people of God away from the world and to the gospel’s green pastures, but the flock wants to make the rules about how we get there. Who are we serving, the worldly flock – or the Good Shepherd?
Here is what I need – discernment. Please pray over this and let me know. Pray, wait on the Holy Spirit, and let me know what comes to you. It will help me in my discernment.
God’s blessings be upon thee!