Modest brides start as modest girls. They are daughters of modest parents. They are not raised to be princesses. Why should a young woman be a princess for a day? It’s a popular conceit to call our daughters princess, and to buy them princess-themed toys and clothes when they are small. I don’t think this is healthy. It encourages self-centeredness and a sense of privilege and entitlement. Christian young women are not princesses, because we are not kings and queens. We are servants of God.
Modesty is more than covering the body. Modesty is a way of seeing the world; modesty is looking at the needs of others rather than ourselves. It is focussing on service rather than self. Dressing and acting to draw attention to oneself so that others will admire, envy or desire us is immodesty.
The wedding industry would have brides spending a fortune on everything from that all-important dress to – well, who knows what, matching shoe covers for the guests or some such nonsense. And a modest dress in appearance may not be modest in price. A modest dress may be quite expensive if it is covered itself in laces and beads and crystals. There`s nothing modest about an elaborate dress, no matter how much girl it covers. There`s nothing modest about an expensive dress.
Simplicity is the twin sister of modesty. It`s so easy to get carried away by envy or competitiveness because the last bride had a big wedding and a big dress. That beautiful day will be spoiled in memory if it carries a lot of debt into a young couple`s new life together.
I had suggested a handmade dress as one way of saving money and finding a modest dress. This may not work for some people. I like to sew, and will find the time to make the clothes I need. But if a owman, her mother, or her family don`t sew, or don`t have the time, and there is a lack of local seamstresses, there are alternatives. Vintage gowns are one way to get a nice modest dress. Vintage dresses tend to be smaller sizes, though, and may have stains or aging. Seams have to be checked carefully, since fabric stress from hanging in a closet for years may weaken the dress. And what was just the biggest wow factor back in 1982 may make the guests laugh now.
Some communities have debutante dances or proms where the girls wear white dresses, and local boutiques may have good dresses at better prices than bridal shops. Again, though, prom dresses are less modest than when I was a girl, although debs still tend to be more conservative.
I wouldn`t rule out the traditional mail order catalogs. Some have gowns at a good price.
If a dress is too lowcut, a lace or satin insert can cover the open V.
If anyone has bought a modest dress and knows godo sources, let us know in the comments.