This is just a short comment, I guess. Ever have the conviction that you just need to wait for something, that waiting is the right thing to do, that all the rushing around and decision making are going to get you nowhere?
All I want to do right now, under great conviction, is wait for God’s work to be done.
It’s really apparent to me that I need to be at home with Nicholas. He still needs a lot of help getting things done, and his vision and balance are still so poor. He sleeps a lot. Some basic chores, such as food prep, are beyond him right now. Yet so many people (including my own little conscience, socially conditioned as it is) say, “Why aren’t you working? Do you expect something for nothing?” And yet I am doing so much. We just need to get through while the government sorts out all the disability pension stuff – and that’s an insurance plan, not a handout. (Please don’t anyone say that again to me or this hardwon, prayed-for self-control is going to CRACK!) I feel like a new mother who has laid aside all her career expectations to care for her child at home. (“Are you just going to waste that degree?”)
It is very difficult for me to just quietly accept all the criticisms I’ve been hearing. I need to get tougher, I suppose. Shrug it off and do what I think is right.
Right now, that’s doing not much of anything active, making the necessary phone calls and not panicking.
And praying. (I’ve been sleeping better at night, so God must think I don’t need those extra three hours of prayer!)
So please, no more nagging out there. No more, “Get off your (***) and do something!” I am doing something, and I am not required to report what to anyone I know of. If anyone wants to do something to help us, start with prayer.