I have focused in my posts on modesty of attire, because I assumed that modest dressing women are already modest in behaviour. But perhaps I need to expand the topic a bit more.

A woman in a covering is not like other women. We can’t do the things other women do.  Just as it is ludicrous to cover one’s head while wearing a low-cut, shortskirted dress or even a pair of pants and a t-shirt, it is making ourselves ridiculous to act worldly when we look Christian and modest.

What is immodest behaviour? Of course, it is flirting and acting in a sexually suggestive way, but it is more than that. Modest dress is more than covering the body, and modest behaviour is more than “proper.” While we don’t flirt and make lewd jokes or tell off-colour stories, we also don’t draw attention to ourselves in other ways. We don’t laugh loudly in public or in gatherings, we don’t talk in a boisterous way; we are generally quiet. One may see Amish and Old Order Mennonite girls and women cover their mouths when they laugh; and their speech amongst themselves is usually at very close range, to the point where it looks to outsiders that they are whispering. Modest women are soft-spoken, although I will admit to a good, loud laugh from time to time. I have to remind myself that I am not the person I used to be. I am not the life of the party, the center of attention, and I should not make myself such.

Modest women do not talk to men outside their immediate family when alone. Even when with husband, father, brother or son, their conversation with other men is brief and businesslike. They do not make constant eye contact. This was hard for me to learn and understand, since I had a very public life before I was called to the convicted life. Even contact with men who are  more distant family should be limited, as not to encourage a habit of conversing too familiarly.

I know, this sounds like purdah, but it is to promote modest behaviour.  Modest women limit their time with men besides their own household. When conversing with other men in business or in passing, that speech should be short and never personal, and one’s eyes should be down. This is called “custody of the eyes.” It means that one’s attitude supports what one is saying with one’s lips. I know, this may look strange and even dishonest to outsiders, but so be it. If one is not dishonest in word they have no reason to doubt.

Honesty is part of modesty. “Let thy yea be yea, thy nay be nay,” that is, do not colour the truth with caveats and excuses or rationalizations. What thee has to say, say it clearly without cavilling.  Never tell a lie, never tell a half-truth. Be careful what thee repeats from hearsay! Do not be in a position of being accused of gossip, which is immodest talk. Do not manipulate situations with many words; do not attempt to control others with thy speech by wearing them down with thy arguments. Especially, with thy husband or father, listen and obey. It is the glory of woman that she is placed in such a place of trust, and thy head, husband or father, should be entirely trusting of thee in all things because of thy obedience.

Modest behaviour also means avoiding situations where others are speaking or behaving immodestly. One does not stay at a party where there is drunkenness, lewd behavior and loud talk. Do not encourage this in others by thy presence, because that implies that thee approves of such, and that thee would do it too, if possible! No one will remember that thee was the only one  not drunk, and thee will be covered with their shame.

When talk turns to gossip or flirting, then thee must leave. If it is thy juniors speaking such, remind them to stop. If it is others over which thee has no authority, excuse thyself. Do not be tempted by such talk; it stirs up envy, lust and worldliness.

Again, avoid entertainments where such behaviour prevails. Do not watch television, films or plays where there is immodest behaviour and worldly actions. It will desensitize thee to this kind of life, and thee will slip into it unconsciously.

It is sometimes tempting to go out in the world in cognito so that one can enjoy worldiness for a while. “Rumspringa” only applies to Old Order communities. An adult once declared as dedicated to the Lord cannot step back into youthful misbehaviour.  This is living a lie, being a hypocrite. Others will notice and thee will shame thyself and the rest of us. So do not listen when encouraged to unveil, put on makeup, try the short dress and high heels! This is the devil tempting thee in the guise of so-called friends. They are looking for thy corruption. They will enjoy making thee fall, and try to call it “a little fun” or “liberation.” It is instead “sin” and “enslavement.”

Modesty is difficult, but the Lord does not call us to something easy. The way of the world is easy. It is the easy slide downhill rather than the hard climb upward. Bu the view from the top of the mountain is spectacular, and we will see the rising Sun, while those who have haplessly fallen to the bottom will never see the Light.